On solitude

Tsim Sha Shui, Hong Kong, 2016

Tsim Sha Shui, Hong Kong, 2016


Society sometimes overemphasizes the positive side of having a couple and even family, while stressing that individuals are the fault of human relationships and the have the tendency of social isolation. Is it always true? Does having relationship mean happiness for sure? Is being alone always the sad thing? Can we allow people to choose what they want but not say you have to find someone so that you will be happier blah blah blah?



N1 Cafe, 2015

N1 Cafe, 2015


People always encourage others to engage in group activities. When they are alone, they are said to be antisocial.

On one hand, group activities are too difficult to be held especially in cities like Hong Kong where people are too busy. On the other hand, solitude is not as bad as we think.

We tend to think being alone can lead to fatal accidents. We tend to think people don’t take others’ feeling into consideration if they wanna do something on their own. But we don’t appreciate that they are already independent and never rely on others to solve problems in life. But we never accept the fact that solo people always plan their activities better to avoid possible dangers.

Can we understand those solo better, by asking why we prefer to do something on their own, how they live alone and most important if they are really resistant to the social? Social animals may not be better than solo as the former can be too dependent on others, i.e. they can’t help themselves, leaving too much troubles to their friends and relatives. In fact, we have two selfs. Sometimes we need to be alone and sometimes we enjoy gathering and even company.






Hong Kong, 2015

Hong Kong, 2015


Why are there solo travelers? Why don’t they find a friend to go together? Many people have the same question while they are not willing to accept a fact.

Many people like to encourage others not to be solo and even say like ‘let me go with you next time’. Sadly, they forget what they said and even decline the invitation with a series of excuses.

Or, they are always busy.

In my hometown I notice that people always attend events and activities with their friends in most cases. If they can’t find people to go with them, they give up or wait rather than going alone.

I remember that my mum always wanted to visit her two brothers in America. However she couldn’t get there alone, and my dad were not able to join her since he needed to go to work and it was not easy to have a long vacation. The dream came true finally after 20 years as I quitted my job and decided to have a gap year.

Unfortunately the society prefer group to individuality, as the latter represents antisocial. But in fact, solitude and company are both options in life and they should not be labelled as good or bad.

I am sure people do appreciate others who want to join them, when they fulfill their promise only. However, they just say repeatedly and make others disappointed to them.

I hope you to realize the fact that it’s not always possible to take a time altogether. If you want to travel solo, do it yourself! You can do it without the help from other people. So don’t procrastinate and you will regret……









LifeAlvin Cheng