What if a male is sexually assaulted?

Sexual assault does not only happen to females, but also males.

Yesterday afternoon just after school, when I entered into a toilet, which shares the same building with a cafe in a park, peeing in the only shared urinal which allows maximum of two persons at the same time, a guy came close to me.

What happened to me?

At first I just thought he was going to urinate too, so I moved right towards the wall to allow him to have more space. However he reached further close, and touched my hip with his hand, saying “you like it?”.

As this happened when I was peeing, I was not able to leave immediately until I finished. Quickly turned away from the urinal and washed my hands, trying to leave the scene but trying to not be panic. Before being ready to go, that guy left.

I saw the guy normally walking away the park, heading towards the high street where I also needed to go there. I walked more slowly than my normal speed in order to increase my distance to him. When he stopped and turned his head back, I was at the bus stop pretending to wait for the bus until he disappeared. I continued walking to another bus stop so that I can go home.

Aftermath

After getting on the bus, I was totally safe, and I started thinking of this incident: I, as a male, was sexually assaulted by a man! I began feeling frightened, dirty and disgusting after being touched by a guy whom I didn’t know without my consent. I was calm when happening partly because I concentrated on escaping to not trigger his possible aggression, partly — unconsciously — because I didn’t accept the fact that sexual assault and even rape can happen to men.

When I shared it to Instagram Story, the social media platform could reach much more people than normal, probably due to its algorithms, but the majority was silent. That said, the small number of people replied to me with useful links and sharing that even men have been sexually harassed by women too. Thanks for your support! Most of the people who replied, most were females.

Thanks for friends, flatmates and my landlord who listened to my case as well. As I was advised to report crimes to the police, I made it online in the same evening because I am afraid if he can keep doing to other people including kids (as he showed up after school time). I don’t expect the guy can be caught successfully but hope I will be the last one.

What if a male is sexually assaulted?

It’s not just touching part of my body. It’s really insulting. It can happen again not with my hip but my sexual organ. Rape is also possible between men, and even from female to male. Yes, men won’t become pregnant after being raped, but can be infected with sexually transmitted diseases (STI), not to mention mental impact. Everyone, no matter what the gender is, needs to be respected and can’t afford to be sexually assaulted like this.

What if a male is sexually assaulted? Be aware if you don't think such a thing doesn't exist. If you are a male, this can happen to you one day. A male can be sexually assaulted from both males and females, and females can be assaulted by same genders too.

Especially when males usually don't speak out, and they love to adopt emotional numbing when dealing with various circumstances. This strategy, or the social expectation of being a gentleman, can bring social and even political impact which is no good to the whole society.

Dear men and boys, please don't hesitate to speak out when you feel something wrong. It doesn't make sense to become the conservative version of a gentleman. Don't distrust people due to the incident to protect yourself. Protect yourself by talking to people, from your family, close friends to followers on social media and even someone who you don't know in the community; and you will discover more love and support.

If males speak to you, just listen to them and show love and support as you help females who suffer.

I don't believe in violence, but you know I won't be silent
I'm a lover, not a fighter

But if anyone tried to hurt you
I would be ruthless for you
Do something crazy, you know I would, baby
I swear I've got your heart and if it came down to it
I would be ruthless

— Ruthless by Kacey Musgraves